The Importance of Cooperation in Marriage
Rahul is a 30-year-old MBA working as a marketing executive in a bank. His wife, Mitali, 28, an interior designer from Bombay, works from home. Theirs was an arranged marriage, and it has been two years since then.
It is Saturday evening, and Rahul has come back from the office intending to have a nice evening out. First, they are unable to decide where to go for dinner, leading to a tiff about how Rahul always chooses a restaurant of his taste while Mitali never gets to have a say.
Even in the restaurant, Rahul and Mitali are unable to conclude what dishes to order. Mitali cannot trust Rahul with the menu as he always orders spicy food, while Rahul finds Mitali’s choice a little offbeat. This routine of daily disagreements in their marital life results in both of them being in a foul mood whenever they are left with each other, preventing them from enjoying their lives.
Rahul and Mitali are a couple that have yet to learn the art of cooperation in marriage. Marriage is a task for two people, and if there is no trust between them, they will tug against each other and accomplish nothing.
Most married couples take physical attraction, companionship, and the desire to have children as the manifestation of love. However, the most important element is intimate devotion to the partner. It is a cooperation for the welfare of the two individuals and the welfare of society in general. If one of them wishes to take the lead and do everything by themselves, even if the other gives way, it will not be pleasant. They have to use their initiative and make a coordinated effort together.
Today, there are difficulties and dissensions arising over the problems of love. Married couples are confronted with them, parents are concerned, and society as a whole is involved in them. Rahul and Mitali are probably more conditioned to work alone and less in pairs. Therefore, this new condition presents a problem, but it can be easily solved if these two are genuinely interested in each other.
For a full realization of cooperation in marriage, each one must be more interested in the other than in themselves. This is the best basis for a successful love and marriage. It would also breed equality, ensuring that neither partner feels subdued or overshadowed. However, this is only possible if both partners have this attitude—each should make every effort to ease and enrich the life of the other.
This is the fundamental guarantee of marriage, the fundamental meaning of happiness in this relationship. It is the feeling that you are worthwhile, that you cannot be replaced, that your partner needs you, that you are behaving well, that you are a good companion and a true friend.
It is not possible for a partner in a cooperative task to accept a position of subservience. Two people cannot live together fruitfully if one wishes to rule and force the other to obey. Nobody can endure a position of inferiority without anger and resentment. Partners must be equal, and when people are equal, they will always find a way to settle their difficulties.
Occasionally, however, our life has focused too much on individual success. It is easy to understand that when two people live together in the intimacy marriage demands, any failure in cooperation—the inability to be concerned about someone else—will have the gravest results.
As most people experience this close relationship for the first time, they are unaccustomed to considering another human being’s interests, aims, desires, hopes, and ambitions. They are not prepared for the problems of sharing, which can explain the mistakes made.
