The absent father

My husband Sudip is a regional manager for a pharmaceutical company and his territory covers the entire Gujarat, Maharashtra and Rajasthan. He is traveling for about 20 days in a month. Even when he is here, he has to spend a lot of time at the office. We have 2 children aged 15 and 12. They hardly get to see him and from the last 2 years, since his work has increased, his interaction with them is very little. My children withdraw from interaction with him as they feel that he does not know what is going on in their lives. They also seem to be complaining more when he is not there. What can I do to improve the situation?

In today’s world, traveling has become an essential part of many jobs and this creates a difficult situation for all the three parties concerned – the father, the mother who is left with the responsibility and the children who are deprived of the father with whom they can have a day-to-day interaction. For the children, it becomes a very tough situation as they themselves are going through the rough period of adolescence and the absence for long durations makes it awkward for them to conduct themselves when they meet the father. A lot depends on the father as to how he views the separation.

It is important for Sudip to recognize that even though he is physically absent, he can still remain emotionally present in the lives of his children. Regular communication can play a very significant role in bridging this gap. Simple actions like calling them daily, asking about their routine, school and interests can help maintain a connection.

When he is traveling, he can fix a specific time to speak with the children so that it becomes a routine they can look forward to. Consistency in such interactions builds a sense of reliability and reassurance. Technology today provides many options like video calls which can make conversations more personal and engaging.

At the same time, when Sudip is at home, it is important that he spends focused and quality time with the children. Instead of trying to control or question them immediately, he should first try to understand their world. Participating in activities that interest them can help rebuild comfort and trust.

As a mother, you can also play a supportive role by keeping Sudip informed about important events and developments in the children’s lives. This will help him stay connected and respond appropriately during his interactions. Encouraging the children to share small updates with their father can also gradually reduce the emotional distance.

It is natural for children to feel distant when interaction is limited, but with conscious effort, this gap can be reduced. The focus should be on creating meaningful moments rather than worrying about the limited time available. Over time, this will help the children feel that their father is involved and interested in their lives.

Rebuilding this connection requires patience from all sides. Sudip may initially find resistance from the children, but with consistent effort, warmth and understanding, the relationship can improve. If he