Limitations by parents

I am Sukruti Mishra. I am 21 years old and have left my studies after doing 2 years of B. Sc. My father is a police inspector and my mother is a bank employee. Due to my father’s constant transfers from one city to another, I have never been able to settle down in life. Today, I find that I do not have any friends. It is also very difficult to form any friendships now as I do not have much social contact. I also have lost interest in my studies. Apart from that, I feel that I have no interest in any area of life. My parents have tried in vain to get me interested in computers, fashion classes, yoga, dancing, and a host of other activities but I am simply not interested. I feel that my parents had restricted me in my school because I am a girl. They did not allow me to go out of the house much and instead focused on my studies only. As a result, today I find myself very bored and angry at my parents. I sit in the house the whole day, watch television and read books, but I am tired of these things also. Every day, there are quarrels in my house regarding my future. Please advice.

Sukruti, you have landed in a position in life, where you are not looking at your own desires and wishes. I think that you have let your parents hijack your imagination and fantasy world. As a result, you always lived on the expectations of your parents. You have not learned how to live life on your own terms. So, it is natural for you to feel that life is meaningless. In this scenario, you must understand the state of your mind first. It is not equipped to handle any painful situation. The state of the mind is like that of an infant while the body is that of an adult. As a result, you may experience that others are not giving you as much attention as you want but have abandoned you. It is a painful process to get interested in any hobby. Also, most of the activity would be at a thought level, rather than in emotions or behavior. You may also feel that there are more restrictions in your life than appreciation and motivations. In this state of mind, you must start getting out of the house. Make a rule to stay out of the house for 6-8 hours a day. This time should be used to interact with other people. It will be difficult as you will feel the urge to go back into the security of your house rather than face difficulty. You may feel that people are more hostile than expected, but all this is a part of the growing up that you will have to experience. The other important part is to identify what restrictions are imposed by the world and parents and what is imposed by your own self. You may find that many restrictions are only a figment of your mind where you feel yourself unequipped. In order to remove these, you must put faith in learning processes and get associated with others who are flamboyant and are living a full life. Your biggest impediment in this mission will be the feeling of envy that you may experience because others at the peer level have a fuller life while you are still struggling. However, you must put trust in your own capabilities rather than criticizing their achievements. The other important instruction is for your parents where they must now leave you alone to face the world and only play a supportive role instead of an advisory one. It will be difficult for them as they may feel let down and that their aspirations have been crushed. They may withdraw from you, but you will have to accept the situation. So, start from establishing a structure of the daily routine, make your desires the driving force rather than your restrictions, and have more actions than thought activities. Another factor is that you might find yourself very depressed and demotivated. It is possible that because of this situation for a prolonged time, you may be suffering from depression. It is mandatory to take treatment for depression also as this will otherwise prevent you from looking at your desires.