+91 – 9824037887 darshan@purplecentre.com
Fotolia 76283005 S 700×467

Leadership Qualities

  • In today’s complex, fast-paced world, all of us may have sensed a desperate need for a relevant and competent role model of effective leadership. We long for some true standard of perfection and rightness in leadership. We believe that there is a perfect practitioner and teacher of effective leadership. We need someone who is regarded as a relevant model and teacher of how to inspire, direct and equip people to produce good results.
  • You may consider yourself as one of the many top people in your field. In the line of your work, you may have realized that you have now begun to stagnate. You may no longer be inspired by motivational talks, awkward silences answer any suggestions to defocus yourself and the pressure to succeed in matters of fame and fortune may replace the need for leadership.
  • You may have lost contact with the people who have been the dearest to you. They may feel that they do not know you anymore. All the time you have is for work and the next project. You may not have time for your family anymore. Neither do you care for anyone at work too. All you count is the bottom line and what your boss thinks. The family may think they are living with a stranger. It is then that you start regretting what has happened to your life. You realize how much the pressure at work has separated you from your people and eroded away your time from your family. All your energies were focused on being successful at work, and yet you feel weary about your loneliness and the choices you have made over the last few years.
  • You need to get back the perspective of your life back before the sensation of fear and frustration takes you over.

 

Why do you need a course in leadership? It is because you have seen of bad leadership in your life when you have been a subordinate and did not want to become a similar leader yourself. You need to develop a style of leadership that your people love and one which you love doing. You need a style that leaves you with a balance – all the freedom of an entrepreneur along with the security of a bureaucrat. You may be the epitome of a modern success story. Your intelligence, magnetic personality, and competitive drive have carried you through a string of hard-earned achievements. You drive yourself and those around you with a sense of urgency. You have arrested your own growth while concentrating on developing the business side of you.

 

  • Most people believe that leadership means being able to develop concepts. Initially it works because you are bringing original stuff into your behavior. You are trying to teach what you are. Then when the reputation takes over, you have to protect your reputation and all the techniques are reflective of you manipulation and protection rather than leadership. The initial concepts just become theoretical exercises, which are for others to implement while you just stagnate. Instead of the concept flowing from your life experiences, the concept begin to change you look at your life and you lose touch with your life.
  • Then the disillusionment starts. The concepts, which you painstakingly researched and formulated, began to lose its long-lasting impact. There is no doubt that these leadership concepts and methods are very sound and practical; but there are very few people who consistently use these concepts. You realize that what you are believing is good and can make a difference in your leadership and effectiveness as a person leading to a change in the organizations or family that you are associated with. However, the troubling part is that the actual practices of these concepts on a day-to-day basis are minimal. The general belief is that people are content merely to talk about good leadership practices rather than actually implement them. Most people spend all their time looking for the next new leadership concept rather than following up on what they just learnt. Only about a quarter of the people who attend leadership training programmes ever do anything with what they have learnt. The people, who are disillusioned, lose all their faith in any leadership development programme; others still keep on searching for a concept, which excites and challenges them. It is this lack of focus, strategy, and resources that engages your need for a new leadership method.

 

You need to have a new leadership concept, which will help you to motivate many people. You will be excited in your new position and you will regain your enthusiasm that you had lost. Till now it has been a one-man show but it will take a toll on your effectiveness. You may have spent far too much time smoothing ruffled feathers and straightening out messes that your people make. You may be vacillating between being heavy handed with those under you and allowing them to find their own way with no direction from you. With an increasing larger workload, you may tend to become a victim of your own success. You cannot hope to add more people to your theory and truly satisfy all of them without developing an infrastructure that could assimilate and equip people. You begin to realize that you need a leadership development course as much as your people need you. You will realize that you need to get your priorities back in order and to be a more sensitive and caring person. You need to rekindle your heart and start discovering yourself.

 

 

  • In the beginning, it is necessary to change outward behavior. That is where the application of all the techniques comes in. but to expect long lasting change, there has to be a change at the core and inside. It would be looking in the wrong place if one only changes outward behavior. Changing someone’s thinking is not enough. The change of heart has to come about. It has to be a real heart attack. It is not doing kind acts but becoming a kind person; to be kind all the time and not just when it suits us. If one is honest at the core, then honesty will be the automatic response in everything.
  • The problem is that there are no set of rules and regulations on how to handle character. This weakness makes people find a way to live comfortably within the laws without it affecting their character or heart. They seem to adapt to any rule or law to fit their own needs or drives. Even they talk a good theory, one wonders about the motives.
  • There are two types of leaders – one who too often try to control, to make decisions, to give orders. They want to be in charge. In addition, they are possessive about their leadership position because they own it. They do not like feedback because they see it as threatening their position – the one thing they most want to hold on to. The other type of leaders are those who assume leadership only if they see it as the best way to serve. They are called to lead because they naturally want to help. They are not possessive about their leadership position – rather they treat it as a guidance system. If someone else on the scene is a better leader, they are willing to partner with that person or even step aside and find another role for themselves. They do not have to hold on to a leader’s role or position if it does not make sense from the perspective of service. They love feedback because they see it as helping them serve better. Their focus is to serve the cause, not to enhance their own positions. They freely follow their natural motivation – which is to serve – in whatever way is appropriate for the situation: as a leader, as a follower, or as a teammate.
  • Whoever wants to become great must be a slave to all. True leadership starts on the inside and then moves outwards to others. Life is not about living with a rigid set of laws, but living in harmony with a servant heart.
  • The participative-supportive style is a good approach in some situations, but a disaster in others. In crises, someone has to take charge.
  • It seems obvious that unless there is a way to transform people so they see themselves as healthy people, teaching them new methods is a waste of time. You need actions not to be learned ones but a reflection of who you are.
  • A lot of techniques, although well intentioned, may happen through sheer intention- trial and error. However, this approach would get less effective as you grow.
  • There are three domains where you need the leadership approach – intellectual, emotional and behavioral. The head, the heart and the hands must all be working in harmony. None of them can stand alone. The head by itself is insufficient, because merely believing in the concept does not make a person a leader. Even when the head and the hands work together – believing and behaving as a leader does not necessarily work if it is a means to an ego-driven end. They have not progressed beyond the status syndrome. The heart is missing. Even if you have the heart only, you can have some big problems. You can attempt all kinds of leadership without being effective if you do not have the skills. Some leaders often do not know how to develop people and they end up doing all the work themselves. In addition to burning themselves out their people remain dependent on them and underdeveloped. It is possible that they do not even realize their leadership behavior is not aligned with their beliefs. They may have good intentions and motives, but lack effective leadership methods. Therefore, a focus on sound methods could be of great help. Aligning the good intentions of the heart with leadership concepts can be synergistic. Some people will advice against tampering with the formula that had been so successful in the past. Others, however, responded like people dying of thirst who had just been given a cool drink of water.
  • At first, your hard-driving temperament and impatience for results make this attempt at leadership a hit and miss affair. The paramount aim is the best interest of those they lead. Personal power, recognition or money is never the focus. They are willing to share power because their purpose is to equip other people to become freer, more autonomous, more capable and therefore more effective. They get personal satisfaction from watching the growth and development of those they lead. They want to be held accountable for their behavior and results. They want to know whether they have been helpful to those whom they are serving. They are willing to listen. They receive criticism and advice as a gift even when it is not offered for positive reasons. Anything that is said that will help them do a better job is welcome. Such a leadership is not about going crazy trying to please everyone. Their goal is to help people to accomplish their goals and be effective and not to please everyone.
  • People tend to exceed expectations when they are led by someone who cares about them and has their best interests in mind. People then tend to get prideful and start to think they deserve the credit when the results and the applause come. Leaders often become other-directed and determine and evaluate who they are by external rewards and not internal peace. A big pride cannot exist with a true leader because it puts concern for self ahead of service to others. You start to think that the sheep are there for the benefit of the shepherd. In addition, that mind-set soon begins to negatively impact the rest of your life.
  • Along with genuine humility, there is confidence. They do not think less of themselves, they just think about themselves less. Others who focus on earthly success are usually driven by three main desires of power, recognition and greed. The leaders need to do their acts of righteousness before men not be seen by them.
  • By itself, money is not bad; it is important. Just like profit is not bad in and of itself. It is the love of money at the exclusion of all else that is the problem. That is when you forget about what is really important – your relationships. Making money is good and necessary for your family, but make sure your family does not get lost in the shuffle. Making profit is good and necessary for the financial strength of your company, but make sure you do not forget about serving your customers and creating a motivating environment for the people you manage.
  • Another problem with the earthly success factors is that you get set up for frustration and disappointment. Someone else always has more power, more recognition, and more money. So focusing on the earthly success game is an endless battle. The drive for external power, recognition, ore wealth so often creates more problems than it solves. When you focus on the right thing, right results are probable.
  • Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you will get neither.
  • Focusing all your attention on the results can get you in trouble. It always catches you in the long run.
  • A servant heart does not come as original equipment. With all the material goodies of power, recognition, and wealth potentially available without one, why would anyone want a servant heart? In addition, more importantly, if you wanted one, how could you get it? Our original heart is one that operates in a way that promotes and protects our own self-interest as its primary focus. It pumps a continual stream of pride, and fear into our thoughts and actions. It calculates the answer to ‘what is in it for me?’ at the speed of light and triggers our rapid response system to the world around us just as fast. It is not very hopeful. There is always a yearning for unconditional love and acceptance.
  • If you try to convert people, they are more likely to revolt. Instead, you need to establish a clear vision and set of operating principles. No one will disagree with them. In fact, they will embrace them. Once these values are agreed upon (values need to be agreed upon – they cannot be mandated) and behaviorally defined, employees within the organization must be expected to behave in a manner consistent with these definitions. Now the values become the boss. Many organizations either do not have a set of operating principles, or if they do, they are followed by leaders only when it is convenient. When egos in the way, values seem to go out the window. Without a set of operating principles that are clearly defined and enforced – people are expected to behave according to them – you are at the mercy of people’s good intentions. Great leaders do not create optional cultures. It is not optional to be friendly to customers and serve them well or to treat people within the organization with respect. Once behavioral norms are established and fulfilled, their individual innate characteristics will take the form of caring and serving others. Once the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
  • There is a need for a community living. In a fire from coals, if a solitary piece of coal falls away, once out of touch with the others, it would burn brightly on its own for a little while, then slowly cool, and eventually die out completely – only half-used. The lure of recognition, power and greed is always present and can get you off course. You have to stay that way despite the constant and varied temptations to think and act in an unhealthy manner with the ego taking the lead.
  • One is often naïve enough to think that once you recognize the qualities of a good leader, you would never lose sight of it. However, most of us would do so. You need to provide consistent support and encouragement to help him combat the temptations confronting him on a daily basis. You need the friendly, caring pressure to stay on course. In the absence of the friendly caring pressure, you would give up. Even when you have thoroughly trained people, you do not completely turn your back on them. That would be abdicating. With effective delegating, you stay in touch with people enough to know if they need you.
  • There are times whey you try and manage your reputation instead of guarding your principles. The more praise that you receive from your bosses, the harder you work and the more credit you let yourself take as being something special. It is a high ride and you like it. You have some annoyance when you receive negative feedback on something you have put into motion, or when people do not get the big picture the first time, you explain it to them. Soon you drive yourself and those around you to live up to your expectations of your greatness, you become increasingly impatient and eventually downright intolerant of anything or anybody that wastes your time. If it does not serve your purposes – purposes that in your mind are always wonderful and pure – you make anyone’s negative feedback painful for them, or else regard it as an act of disrespect. As the external applause becomes more and more important to sustain, you begin to put everything else in your life on extended hold. You become more and more intolerant of people’s feelings and perceived failings. You demand more and more not only from others but yourself as well.
  • On one hand, you recognize the self-damage you are causing. You do not like it. However, rather than deal with it, you lock it up and become defensive if anybody suggests otherwise. Gradually when people stop trying to break through, you feel relieved of the pressure, but in another way, sad and even more alone. You have become an all too willing victim of your own ego.
  • There are three dangers of pride and an ego-filled heart. Firstly, it always separates us from others and ourselves. Secondly, it always compares. It is never satisfied and it finds no peace in what it already has if someone else has more. Thirdly, it always deceives. It drives us to arrogance, complacency and fear, all with equal force.
  • The head part is the principles, values and concepts that you use as a leader to guide the direction of your organization. If you are wrapped up in your own importance, you let the principles of good leadership take a back seat to your ego trip.
  • There are a few misconceptions about leadership. You assume that leadership means that you should work for the people and that the people would decide not only to do their jobs but what their jobs were and when and how they should be done. It would be like inmate running the prison. Leadership is not about pleasing everyone.
  • There are two parts to leadership – a visionary part and an implementation part. Some say that leadership is the visionary part and implementation is the management part. However, both – doing the right thing and doing things right are leadership roles. Having a vision is important, it is a picture of the future that produces passion in a leader and people want to follow this passion. Without vision, the people perish. As a leader, if you cut people loose without any direction or guidelines, they will be lost and the organization will suffer immeasurably. Guidelines are boundaries. They channel energy in a certain direction. It is like a river. If you took away the banks, it would not be a river anymore. Its momentum and direction would be gone. What keeps the river flowing is the banks.
  • A clear vision has four aspects – purpose, values, image, and goals. Purpose defines the fundamental reasons why you exist as an organization. Values determine how people should behave when they are working on the purpose. Image is really just a picture of what things would be like if everything were running as planned. Goals focus people’s energy right now.
  • People are inspired by vision. All great organizations have a visionary leader at the top who maintains a clear picture of the kind of organization it is going to be. Once people understand vision, they can begin to move towards it and even inspire others.
  • Most organizations have a hierarchy that is pyramidal in nature. Traditional hierarchy also becomes less effective in certain situations. People look to their leaders for vision and direction, so the traditional hierarchy is effective for this part of leadership. While you want to involve your experienced people in shaping the direction, you cannot delegate this function. The responsibility for establishing vision and direction falls on you.
  • In the traditional hierarchy, people think that they work for the person above them – the boss. You assume that the person you are working for is responsible and your job is to be responsive to that person and to his whims and wishes. As a result, all the energy in the organization moves away from the customers and the frontline people towards the boss. Therefore, people say that the worst thing that can happen to them is when they lose their boss – especially when they have figured the boss out. As a result, the most important people in the organization – those who have contact with the customers – spend all their time looking over their shoulders trying to figure out what their boss wants rather than focusing on the needs of the customer. This can be sorted out by turning the hierarchy upside down. As a leader, your people are your customers. This one change, while it seems minor, makes a major difference between who is responsible and who is responsive. With the traditional hierarchy, the boss is always responsible, and his or her people are supposed to be responsive to serve the boss. When you turn the pyramid upside-down, the hierarchy changes and these roles get reversed. The leader’s people become responsible and the job of the leader is to be responsive to serve his or her people. Whatever, the people need, be it direction or support, the leader provides that.
  • The important thing for the leader is not what happens when you are there; it is what happens when you are not there. You can usually get people to do what you want when you are there; the real test is what they do on their own.
  • A leader must be willing to voluntarily sacrifice some of their time and effort to listen to their people, to praise and encourage them and to help them win.
  • People who produce good results feel good about themselves. The main function of the leaders is to help people produce good results by modeling and encouraging the behaviors and values that are aligned with a shared vision.
  • People do not mind tough goals if they know they have a manager who is in their corner.
  • There are three parts to an effective performance management system: performance planning, day-to-day coaching, and performance evaluation. In the performance planning, you set the clear goals. Day to day coaching involves observing your people’s performance, praising progress, and redirecting efforts that are off base. Performance evaluation is the end of the year evaluation.
  • Due to performance evaluation systems that are subjective, everyone is buttering up the hierarchy, trying to please the boss and be liked by him or her.
  • There are five steps to winnings – firstly, tell them what to do, secondly, show them what to do (sometimes they are enthusiastic about the work given to them but do not have a clue to what to do or how to do, if you delegate responsibility and leave them alone, they will fail), thirdly let them try what you want them to do, fourthly observe their performance and fifthly praise the progress or redirect.
  • Some managers are good at telling and showing people what to do. Then they disappear only to return when there is a problem. They are not there until there is a problem. Then they make a lot of noise and dump on everybody.
  • The key to developing people is to catch them doing something right. In most organizations, managers spend all their time catching people doing things wrong. This discourages people. The key to encouraging people is to accent the positive. If people do wrong, you redirect them. You go back and show them the process all over again. If you work closely with people in the beginning, and they start to develop, after a while, they can begin to provide their own direction and support and you can supervise them less.

Dr. Darshan Shah

Dr. Darshan Shah, a renowned psychiatrist and psychotherapist, is committed to make a difference in the area of mental health and help individuals cope with feelings and symptoms; change behavior patterns that may contribute to one’s illness and henceforth contribute to their newly improved pathway of life.